"To Nowhere" or alternately "The Art of Leaving" How does one begin a trip to nowhere? It helps to have a vague premise on which to base the trip. The premise should be vague so that it cannot be easily planned and organized in advance, as well as difficult to obtain while traveling. This will extend the length of the journey. The premise acts as a terrific way to justify leaving friends and jobs. It explains your purpose for traveling to the strangers you meet along the way. It also helps narrow down your first general destination. This is phase two, deciding "where" to go first, on your way to nowhere in particular. I decided I was going to look for a sailboat that would take me on as inexperienced crew, so that I could learn to sail and travel at the same time. This fit into my larger goals of seeing the world and getting to travel. Of course, it is something easier said than done, but it helped me chose A) somewhere warm, and B) somewhere coastal with sailing activity in the summer, as my first destination. I chose to fly into Rome and start moving up the the west coast of Italy, camping near the ports along the coast and in the islands of the Tyrrhenian sea. For good measure, I threw, "Trying to improve my Italian," into the list of justifications. This has proved to be a good fall-back after nearly a month without finding a boat. It has given me something to talk about in my mass-emails to all of my friends back home. Phase three is actually leaving. This may be easy or difficult, depending on how stable and comfortable you have allowed yourself to become at your current location, geographically, and in life. This may be an incredibly hard step, involving breaking hearts, burning professional bridges, and hurting friends who don't understand why the same life with which they are comfortable is not fulfilling enough for you. I've found that one way to "create" the courage to leave a comfortable life, for a life of many unknowns, is to tell as many people as possible that you plan on leaving on some firm date to do whatever your premise for leaving dictates. This will test out the credibility of your premise and has the curious affect of painting yourself into a corner. If you've told enough people, and talked about it enough, when it closes in on your estimated time of departure, you will have no choice but to follow through with your plan or lose all future credibility. Your friends will throw you goodbye parties and practically hold your hand on the way out the door. It works wonders. Once on the road, the first one of two weeks should be scrubbed as far as efficiency and productivity are concerned. It takes some time to unwind from the hectic preparing and packaging you've just completed, as well as adjust to a new existence of uncertainty. There may be personal issues to think over, and get over, and last minute financial or organizational matters that didn't get taken care of in the last minutes before leaving. You will also have to take stock of your travel possessions. Inevitably, you brought too much and need to assess what can be ditched or sent home. Phase four is easy for you, and hard on others. This is the phase when you've grown comfortable in your life without concern for others. Maybe not truly at peace, but at least distant enough to start making plans solely on selfish wishes. It is during this phase that your friends, family, and loving ones might start to catch on to the fact that you are not coming back. It will not be a "summer vacation." This will be difficult for them to handle since I'm sure the majority of them were optimistic about your quick return after life without them proved boring and unbearable. I had been traveling for about a month with a little less than a month left when I started thinking ahead. My trip back home for a wedding was fast approaching. I thought of it as fun times, but probably a bit of an expensive inconvenience. I started thinking about staying in Boston for longer than the originally planned week, and my brain quickly started coming up with escape routes. I realized that I was not ready to stop. There was still a long trip ahead. The trip to nowhere was far from over. _________________________________________________________________ A l After getting so many questions from everyone, and trying to spend as little time as possible in front of a computer, I've decided to send out a list of Frequently Asked Questions to keep everyone informed. As most of you know, I often go into more detail than is necessary when answering questions. Knowing this, I am including two sets of answers to all of the questions. The answers marked A1 are the quick answers fo those of you who are impatient. The answers marked A2 are the unabridged versions. Q: How is your italian coming along? A1: Bene. A2: It seems to have improved enough so that the looks of concentration that I'm getting from my intended conversation partners have changed from "I'm having trouble understanding this foreigner who is speaking italian well for a foreigner," to "I'm having trouble understanding this poor retarded italian man." To help with this I've decided to speak quickly, slurring things together, occasionally adding an extra "shhh" where it isn't needed, and rolling my R's with gusto at all times. In this barrage on the senses (yes, plural senses because the shhh'ing tends to cause some spittle), I mumble something about being from a little mountain town north of Milan near Lecco, and please pardon my thick dialect. Since every part of Italy speaks its own dialect, to some degree, and since this area of Italy is near switzerland (where there are italian, german, english, french, and clock making influences), it accounts for my european-but-not-quite-italian image. It has also improved my italian immensely, or at least the italian perception of my italian. Well, it WILL improve my italian when I actually try it the next time i meet someone new. I'm getting decent at practical speech (where is..., how much is..., i'm looking for work on a sailboat..., i'm from boston..., i'm sorry for looking at your wife but she was standing in front of a beautiful sailboat..., more free bread please...), but I still need to work on my casual speech. I was invited to sit down for dinner one evening with a collection of three families, one of which lives in the camper van next to me. I tried politely to refuse the food offered to me, but ended up "trying" a little of everything. Italian mothers can be very insistent about eating. I found I could talk about what I was doing, what I did before leaving America, and who I was, but after the hours of questions about boats and where was best to look for them, I was lost during much of the subsequent conversations about one of the older ladies who fell out of one of the men's boats earlier that day. at least i think that's what happened. well, it doesn't matter, we were all laughing. falling out of a boat is funny too, right? Q: Do you miss me? A1: I don't miss people. A2: I don't miss people. Q: Have you been getting a lot of "action" from the italian ladies? A1: Mom! That's not something I want to talk about with you. A2: Actually, my life has been "action" free. I contribute this to three factors. 1) I am walking around all day looking for food, free restrooms, boats with people in them with which to talk, and charter companies. This leaves very little time or energy for chasing women. 2) All of this walking in the hot sun has not made my "less" smelly than usual, or for that matter, than the average sailor with whom I am talking. While I'm fine with the smell, the ladies don't seem to hold the same opinion. 3) While the italian women here are beautiful and at all times fashionable attired, they seem to all be either too young (as in, illegal), or are tending to one or more children. While the sight of children, to some guys, might not necessarily mean that they are "unavailable", I am not one of those types of guys. Q: How have you been eating?/What have you been eating? A1: Happy Meals. A2: After walking around all day, I'm always happy when I'm finally eating. I don't think that McDonalds (or other similar food franchises) exist on this island (knock on wood). Mostly I've been making sandwiches with canned sardines (or on special days, canned tuna) from the supermarket. Once or twice a week I have a sit down meal at a restaurant and have whatever the local specialty is, or walk around looking cute and invite-able until I'm asked by a group of families to join them for dinner. Q: What's up with your hair? A1: Nothing. It looks fine. What's up with YOUR hair? A2: I got my hair cut short before I left for Italy so that it would be easy to maintain and I thought it looked cool when spiked up on top. Since then I hadn't really paid much attention to it. I respected its privacy, it respected mine. I get it wet every now and then. Soap it up if it feels dirty. I don't own shampoo and don't use any gel or anything because it usually spikes up naturally during the day with the combination of sea-water, sweat, and me running my hand from my forehead to the back of my skull. I've noticed over the past couple of days, however, that my hair is getting longer, and consequently spiking higher. It seems to be right on the border right now of cool v.s ridiculous. I'm going to leave it alone and see what happens. I'll let you all know how it turns out. Maybe there will be pictures. Ok, that should have answered most questions. If you are curious about anything else, feel free to send me more questions. -Nate _______________________________________________________________ Dear Alan, I would like to join you in January, for four months. That is, If you'll have me. I saw your listing on the www.floatplan.com website and have read almost everything on your wallaby creek website. I want the life and I want the sailing! Please consider what follows as my "application". I'm sure that it is too long because I'm choosing to delicately ignore your subtle hint of "SOME" personal information. I'm sure that if we're to spend 4 months together, you'll want to know more than just, "I can pay." I'll put the important stuff at the top, and the nitty gritty afterwards, in case you don't have time or inclination to read the whole thing. I'm also sending two other emails. The first is an update I recently sent home to my friends and family from my current travels. Maybe you'll like my sense of humor. The second is a piece i'm working on. It may turn into a book someday. Who I Am: My name is Nathan Christopher Sady, but i go by Nate. I'm a fit 27 year old male. Pisces. I've got a good sense of humor, am not fussy, tell a decent story, can play the guitar, and although "I" like my singing voice, I will respectfully restrict it to the anonymity of sing-alongs if the general consensus is that this is best for all concerned. I've adjusted the valves on my motorcycle, changed an alternator, cook meals regularly for myself and 4-8 others, can speak italian, broken french, and a tiny tiny bit of german. I'm an optimist, easy-going, and generally laugh and smile a lot. I like to feel self-reliant, don't own much, and don't need much. I like to learn, to understand, and have many interests, from writing to camping, from computers to motorcycles, and from business to music. I like to travel, not just "vacation", and to this end have a genuine interest in learning to sail a cruising yacht. I have a little sailing experience as crew, day racing 7m boats in the Chesapeake Bay near Washington DC, and for a week on a Bavarian 44 yacht day sailing along the coast of Croatia. I have also had some experience as helmsman of 4m sloops on the Charles river, in Boston. This is not much experience, and I'll be the first to admit that I have a lot to learn. It will take years and years. I've read books on sailing/navigation theory, but know that true knowledge will come from experience and learning from those with more experience than me. This is why I'd like to stay on board for 4 months. That, and it looks like I'd have a blast. Where I Am: Learning to sail is what started me on my current journey. I saved for 9 months in Boston, and then left for Italy (I had been learning Italian prior to my decision of where to start), to look for work/experience on cruising yachts. I have managed to line up a berth on a boat making the passage from the Spanish Balearic Islands to Sardinia in September, and will probably travel with that boat for some time around southern Italy. I have a feeling that it will be "comfort" cruising (other than the 3 day passage), but at least it is a start. At least coming to Italy has gotten me out door, away from the desk job. Where I've Been and What I've Done: I'm an American, but am usually considered a very un-typical american. I'm mildly proud of this distinction. My father worked for the U.S. Department of State as a courier, so I was born in Germany, and then grew up in Germany and Thailand before moving to the U.S., at age 12, to finish school and then complete University as a Computer Engineer. After university, I traveled for 3 months with a friend, on motorcycles, around western Europe. We traveled light, at our own pace, always on back roads and local byways, camping and hostelling while seeing the places that "backpackers" never get to see. After that I moved to Boston to start a life of computer programming and learning about business. After a year of this I found a way to work remotely, while living in the Colorado mountains and skiing 3-4 days a week. Eventually I returned to Boston for two years to work as a part owner of a medical software company, until it recently became apparent that my partners had lost interest and were unwilling to take the next step of total dedication. It was probably for the best because it freed me to consider traveling again. I've been well loved, love life, have been in love twice, and have had my heart broken twice. The last time helped open my eyes to the fact that I had gotten caught up in the foolish pursuit of money and business. I never did anything sensible with the money other than buy a guitar and travel to see my girlfriend, who was working as an archeologist all over the US. I also realized that the life of adventure that i wanted to live could not fit into the carefully parceled out 12 days of vacation a year. So I left that life to look for a boat, and have been camping in rented tents and sleeping on beaches along the coast of Italy. I'm now on the island of Elba. End: So to sum up. Why do I think that I'm a good fit for your boat? What gives me this confidence? I like sailing and want to learn as much as I can, by doing it. I like a simple life where friends and small pleasures make all the difference. I am generally considered good company, with a sense of humor and an active mind. I've had just enough life-experience to know better, but still retain my youthful optimism. I like children, and from the pictures, it looks like I could learn a thing or two about sailing from Lisa. I know when to lead and when to follow directions. I will always follow directions when aboard your boat. I've played team sports all my life and understand teamwork, compromise, personal accountability, and group dynamics. I want to continue my life of adventure and pursuit of knowledge, and I think, perhaps, that I will make your life more interesting. I'm certain that you'll make mine more interesting. Thanks for considering me. Nate Sady natesady@hotmail.com (preferred contact) (0039) 320 4220796 m (Italian cell phone, if you like) Campeggio D'Enfola, Elba, Italy _________________________________________________________________ Protect your PC - get McAfee.com VirusScan Online http://clinic.mcafee.com/clinic/ibuy/campaign.asp?cid=3963 Alan, Sorry for sending so much information. I would love to do January through the end of April. Nate >From: Alan Phillips >To: Nathan Sady >Subject: Re: Application 1/3 >Date: Mon, 21 Jul 2003 18:42:36 -0700 (PDT) > >Sorry Nate I had not read it all when I sent that other email. >Of course you will be most welcome. I cannot read all your information as >I am at a broken computer in the town of Bima in Indonesia. I hope i will >have better luck next week when I get to Bali. >What months did you want to do ? >Happy sailing to us all Alan > > _________________________________________________________________ The new MSN 8: smart spam protection and 2 months FREE* http://join.msn.com/?page=features/junkmail